Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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