the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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