I want to have your abortion
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
