Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
