He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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