OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
