Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
