like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
