Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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