5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
