he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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