You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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