Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
