My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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