Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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