Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
