Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
