...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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