one might say we're banned from that church
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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