I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I looked at my own cervix.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
