Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
