She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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