Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
