The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
