I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
