like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
