yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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