I want to stick my p in your. b.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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