the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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