That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
