fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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