There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
