then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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