I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
