Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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