Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
