The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
