btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
