Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
