Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
