Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
