Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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