no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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