you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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