Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
