what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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