can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
