Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
