normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
