1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you never un-have a 4some
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
