Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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